It’s safe to say my mom didn’t really get the whole “dressing up in a cool costume for Halloween” thing. If she had her way, I would just have worn a pin on my shirt that said “Halloween” as my costume.
Neighbor opening the door after I rung the bell: And what are you supposed to be?
Me: Can’t you read my pin? I’m Halloween itself. My mom thought I was so precious that I should just be the entire holiday. People will worship the ground I walk on FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!!!
A Halloween pin would’ve filled my mom’s 3 criteria for a costume:
1) It’s cheap
2) There is no face paint
3) I still look exactly like I do the other 364 days of the year.
When I was in Kindergarten I was a clown, but I didn’t have a wig, the nose, face paint, a honker, or big shoes. I just had colorful dots all over me. For all we know I could’ve been skittles or the result of cans of paint exploding everywhere. My teacher asked me what I was and I burst into tears because I thought it was so obvious I resembled this:
In second grade I wanted to be dracula…enough with being the sweet kid…this is the year will scare the living daylights out of my whole classroom! I made it very clear to my mom that she needed to get red face paint for the blood, and I even told some of my friends to watch out for my costume! She promised me she would, but when she showed up during lunch with my costume ALL SHE HAD WAS A CAPE!
And it wasn’t even a believable cape! It was so cheap and plastic looking…it looked like I was wearing a garbage bag on my back! Her excuse was they only had capes left in the store. I’m not surprised! It was the ugliest piece of garbage I had ever seen..who would wanna get their kid that?!
The dracula costume is one of the simplest costumes out there…how hard is it to make sure I look somewhat like this:
I was a Native American for 3 years in a row…I had to make my own feather the first year, and the next two years I went feather-less. No one knew what I was, and I have no idea where my mom even found the costume! I’m thinking she probably had a dream about it one night, and someone in the dream told her she had to drive across deserts and mountains to find it. There was no way that costume was found in New Jersey!
After that, I decided I was gonna be something that probably couldn’t be messed up…a witch! I put together a costume that had a little something ”extra.”
Here are the ingredients for my witch costume:
1) a long black skirt
2) a black shirt
3) a witch’s hat
4) the black cape from my “Dracula” costume
5) A BUNNY’S TAIL
Yeah, my mom had got me bunny ears and a bunny tail that year, but there was no way I was gonna be something sweet and cute like a bunny! Who’s scared of a fluffy thing, mom?! But I didn’t want the bunny tail to go to waste, so I incorporated it into my costume. I told people I was the Bunny Witch.
I was a bunny witch for 3 years, and I would’ve been it a 4th year, but the tail got ruined, and I didn’t want to wear the costume without it! And when people asked me what I was when I went trick-or-treating (do princesses wear a witch’s hat? Get with the program, people!) I would always turn around and shake my tail. A regular witch couldn’t do that!
What is one of your favorite Halloween costumes or what do you wish you had been?