Here’s something I’ve been wondering lately as I read through people’s Facebook statuses. Are people even reading the statuses to begin with? Or are we just on a liking frenzy these days? I’ve seen people who mentioned they were sick on there, and then I see at least a couple of likes. Are you getting joy out of your friend’s sickness? Did they send you too many Mafia War requests back in the day, and now you are getting your revenge every time some bad news smacks them in the face?
“Oh he posted he’s sick, did he? I still can’t over the day he poked me two years ago on Facebook, and I poked him back, and then he poked me AGAIN, and then I poked him again, and then HE POKED ME AGAIN! I’m just so mad I can I can I can….LIKE ALL OF HIS STATUSES WHERE HE’S NOT FEELING WELL!”
Let’s move onto birthdays. What would we do without Facebook in that department? If it wasn’t for that lovely reminder that someone you’ve never spoken to on Facebook (‘cause you’re too busy looking at statuses to like of people who are sick) has a birthday, your life would be incomplete. Who cares if you don’t know diddly squat about them, and have no idea when you even added them on Facebook? When you see it’s their birthday, your eyes light up! It’s the one day where you get to be part of the “birthday wall popular crowd.”
“I will not be the only one who doesn’t wish this person who has 2,000 friends a happy birthday. When it’s my birthday this person will surely return the favor. I will then return the favor on his next birthday. THIS IS BETTER THAN PLAYING CANDY CRUSH AND FARMVILLE PUT TOGETHER!!!”
You may post this on their wall so they remember you when it’s your birthday:
This is the perfect picture to post on the wall of someone you don’t know. It not only shows two people high-fiving each other (one person symbolizes you and one person symbolizes the person you don’t know), but it also has the word “winning” on it. No one else who posts on this person’s wall can use a better word than “winning” so you’re automatically in the list of walls this person will write birthday greetings on. And there are also cool sneakers in this picture, which lets the person know that you may get a pair of sneakers for them if they keep posting on your wall for your birthday from this day forward.
Another thing I don’t get about Facebook is holiday greetings pictures. We get it…Christmas is a wonderful time of year…Rudolph…sweaters with Christmas trees…holiday decorated cup cakes…wonderful! Why am I being tagged in a picture with 8 million other people that says:
I don’t know these people I’m tagged with, and could care less what kind of holiday they have. It wouldn’t bother me one bit if they tried to make Christmas cookies in the shape of candy canes, and it wound up looking like tree branches. Just for being tagged with them I might friend them, and like their candy cane cookie disaster status.
“Hope you’re having a happy holiday with your tree branch cookies. Fa la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
And have you noticed not everyone they know gets tagged in holiday pictures? Are they trying to say “I hope you don’t have anything close to a Holly Jolly holiday” to these people! ”Your Draw Something pictures always look better than mine, so now you will be excluded from my tagging festivities! Try and draw “silence” ‘cause that’s what you’re getting from me!”
No idea how people only find me when it’s time to be tagged in pictures, but I will buy a manual on how to draw if it means I don’t get tagged in something. Don’t make me draw Tom Cruise, and you will know who he is without my having to write the words “Tom Cruise” underneath it.